Do you remember the days gone by when you would get a phone call from the one you loved and you got all gooey inside? Or when you had a date and you spent hours trying to figure out just what to wear? “Should I wear the cute little black dress?” “Will she like this new cologne?” What about when you’d heard their voice and suddenly nothing else really mattered? Well that is what the “old folks” call “woo!” This is the stage in the relationship where everyone is on their best behavior, smiles are currency, and taking a walk in the park was the perfect start to a conversation.
Those days seem fleeting after the “I dos” are exchanged. As the old saying goes, “First comes love, then comes marriage…” Love comes first, but it doesn’t have to go away after “…Marriage and the baby carriage!” In fact, it should only get stronger, but as most married couples know, after all the subsequent things, love can sort of get lost in the shuffle. Children, careers, in-laws, etc. etc. can throw a wet blanket on woo, but you can get it all back! Think back to the first days, months, and years of your relationship. Recall all of the things that made you crave you partner’s companionship, and reclaim them. This can be, understandably, easier said than done, but alas, there is hope!
Here are a few ideas:
1. Recreate your first date (warning: do this only if your first date was pleasant!)
2. Leave your spouse romantic notes, emails, text messages, etc. (In this age of instant communication, try writing an actual letter, in your handwriting, and dropping it in the mail to home or office.)
3. Wear his/her favorite scent, preferably the one you wore when you first met. (Scents have very strong memory relation.)
4. Get a babysitter!
5. Turn off the TV., Blackberry, Ipod, etc. and talk with no distractions. Talk about things that make you happy…not bills, kid’s grades, and so on.
6. Reserve a hotel room for two, print out step-by-step instructions (“get in your car…go to the end or the drive way…turn left…” you get the picture, arrange to have a favorite meal prepared, and lock the doors!
There are tons of ways to “pitch woo,” so no one way will work for everyone. The key is to find the ways that work for you and go with it! Once you hit your stride, make it a habit! Make time to woo your spouse; in short do what you did to get them to keep them!
Have fun, and if any of the suggestions work for you or you have some of your own, don’t hesitate to share!
Remember, the best love is that which is shared!
To contact Pamela with questions or comments please send emails to [email protected]