Having grown up in the era of the Easy Bake Oven and Malibu Barbie, I came to understand early on what my role as a woman was meant to entail; a personal caretaker that also found time to keep herself well-groomed and physically fit, at least as far as the marketing team at Matel was concerned. While maintaining one’s physical appearance is a trait I believe every woman should find value in, KitchenAid, on the other hand, was a term I never really became familiar with. While this has and will likely continue to appear as a flaw to some, I like to refer to it as a cognoscente, personal choice on my quest to being unique. Can you tell I’m in sales? However, the true, gender-defying occurrences in the lives of twenty-something women are taking place in the venues that have become our more natural habitats. Clubs, trendy restaurants, etc. can not only be considered haunts, but also the stage for young, contemporary women to embrace new roles.
Being one of an increasing number of college-educated, financially independent, twenty-something women, it is only natural that I have surrounded myself with similarly skillful, single friends. The question that is often posed is “Why are you all single?” A loaded question to say the least, it remains one that often puzzles us. Given the day of the week, several answers or justifications may come out of our mouths, but what I have come to understand is this; we’re picky. Contrary to what the men we encounter may choose to believe, this does not come from a place of superficiality or entitlement, but rather the ability to choose who we surround ourselves with based on our own priorities and independence, financially and otherwise.
It is a widely-acknowledged fact that it is human nature to surround ourselves with people of similar stature (i.e. looks, morals, etc.). Thus, many twenty-something women do not find it wrong or rude to accept or deny the offers they receive. Like it or not guys, it has become common ground for both genders to have several contacts in our BBM. However, the key to owning this luxury is actually having things to offer. For example, if you lack domestic qualities, throw yourself into advancing your career or learn to do the things you aren’t as comfortable with. It is my belief that men will appreciate your efforts and overlook weaknesses if other strengths exist. However, acting like a princess when you have little to offer is unreasonable, especially when you refuse to consider men that are acting the same way.
Although this may appear to be an overall ‘Player Proclamation’ of sorts for the women, it is simply an alternative to succumbing to what we think we need to be. In no way am I suggesting acting promiscuous, but allowing yourself to live life with fewer, yet nontoxic restrictions, is part of the process of finding oneself and the right mate. In one’s personal life, as well as professionally, success can be most easily measured by the distinctive ways we approach things. Above all carrying oneself in such a way that exudes class and confidence, not in a snob-like way tells men that you know what you’re worth. Although we may not all be comfortable being divas in a game of primarily male players, it would be foolish of us not to acknowledge that the game has, in fact, changed.