The only fortunate bit of news surrounding ‘Vampires Suck’ (now playing at Regal Gallery Place) may be that so few people know of its existence that moviegoers will be spared the horror of trying to sit through this garbage. This film is a spoof of the Twilight series, and another in a long line of horrible ‘comedies’ parodying popular teen films. It is simply stunning that a studio could put out a comedy that cannot generate a single laugh in 90 minutes, yet it has become routine.
Here’s the problem with this genre. Let’s take ‘Airplane!’ as the optimal example of how a movie in this genre can turn out. To execute parody in such a way that it does not cause physical pain to the audience, the subject of the parody must be serious. For example, airline disasters. You see, a comedy writer takes a serious subject, then finds elements of humor, and there you have it, a successful parody.
Now, if the underlying subject matter of the parody is not serious, then the parody fails. These Twilight movies are already pretty hysterical on their own, they in fact serve as a parody unto themselves. It’s like a writer trying to pitch a parody of ‘Wedding Crashers.’ This would not work because the subject matter is already funny, silly, etc. Politicians and religious leaders make great subjects for parody. Why? Because they take themselves so seriously as pillars of society when in fact many are engaged in hypocrisy and outright buffoonery.
On a more positive note, this film should be gone from theatres soon. Don’t let it suck two hours of your life that you will never get back. I’m done discussing this movie, so if that’s all you wanted to know about then you can stop here. This week is going to get rougher, on Friday I am reviewing what should be at the top of the list for worst movie of 2010, ‘Pirhana 3D.’
Overall, 2010 has been a horrible year for films in terms of quality. How the Oscars are going to find 10 films to nominate this year is beyond me. So far ‘Inception’ is a lock, ‘Shutter Island’ probably is, too. After that, it gets pretty thin. They had to expand the best picture category to 10 because the Academy would automatically nominate every film with a Nazi, Meryl Streep, or Kate Winslet, and thus lock-out deserving films.
Take 2008, and yes I am going to talk about ‘The Dark Knight’ again. How in the world does ‘The Reader’ get nominated over TDK? Both had Oscar winning performances, only people actually saw TDK. Frankly, I’m still trying to figure out if Winslet’s character in ‘The Reader’ was supposed to be retarded. And how is not being able to read a mitigating factor for locking people in a barn and setting them on fire? ‘Frost/Nixon’ also got the nod over TDK. You want to see Frost interview Nixon, TURN ON PBS ANY WEEKEND!
I’ll be back Friday with ‘Pirhana 3D.’ Let me warn you that I am walking in there pissed. Someone I like is getting married Friday and I can’t stop it (maybe Batman could help?). So I promise Friday’s review will be as obscene and mean as possible!