“I’ve always looked at marriage like Communism. It’s a great idea, it just never works out quite right.” — Taylor
Indeed. Both marriage and Communism are founded on the best of intentions. At the outset of each, the participants ascribe to an idealistic view in which the best elements of human nature are called upon to preserve the union. The work and the resources are shared and each contributes according to his or her ability and takes according to his or her needs. This is, of course, a ridiculous way to attempt to live one’s life.
This week, True Beauty took a trip down to the intersection of Las Vegas and Charleston Boulevards, the southern border of downtown Las Vegas and the home of the city’s thriving wedding chapel district. The contestants participated in a charming challenge that found them making short pitches to be in the wedding parties of couples who were about to be married. Taylor won for the second week in a row while Amy and Michelle finished in the bottom.
The moral challenge came when the prospective Faces of Vegas overheard a bride being cruelly berated by her mother for being fat. If the contestant offered the bride words of encouragement, they passed the test. If they said nothing, they failed. Erika and Craig were the only two to pass.
Craig’s moral success didn’t last long, however. After coming in last place in the challenge, Amy broke down and began crying. While he consoled the stranger in the dressing room, Craig turned a blind eye to his roommate’s distress. In a classic bit of comedy, he actually intercepted a tissue as Taylor was handing it to Amy in order to dry her tears. Craig used the tissue to blot off excess moisture on his forehead and then ordered a drink. Ice cold.
I have to say that although my Erika vs. Taylor (with Taylor winning) prediction from last week stands, I’m definitely rooting for Amy. She’s got a lot working against her. She doesn’t know how to iron or make coffee, she admittedly “[doesn’t] have a talent,” and despite having no idea what being the “Face of Vegas” entails, I’m almost 100% sure that she’s not qualified for it. Even so, I can’t help but root for her. She’s just so refreshingly earnest. I wish you the best, Amy. You are a complete sweetheart.
My favorite part of any True Beauty episode is when Vanessa Minillo walks on set to accost that week’s loser and there is a completely blank look of non-recognition on said loser’s face. It’s like the show is trying to communicate that there is about to be some sort of twist, but this never registers with the loser in any way until Vanessa begins explaining what’s going on. I bet Vanessa Minillo wishes that just once someone would recognize her and realize that they are on True Beauty, but I doubt this will ever happen.
Overall Records (contestants in italics have been eliminated)
Main Moral Test Pass Rate:
Erika – 89% (6/7)
Amy – 71% (5/7)
Taylor – 71% (5/7)
David – 80% (4/5)
Michelle – 57% (4/7)
Craig – 57% (4/7)
Regina – 50% (2/4)
Michael – 50% (1/2)
Liz – 17% (1/6)
JD – 0% (0/1)
Bonus Moral Tests:
Episode 1. Dog Lady: David fails, JD passes
Episode 2. Drunk Driver: Regina passes, Michael fails
Episode 3. None. (Liz & Taylor safe; Regina DQ’ed for cell phone use)
Episode 4. Photo Op: David passes; Craig fails
Episode 5. Schweaty Man: Michelle passes, Liz fails
Episode 6. Wedding Vote: Amy passes, Michelle fails
Episode 1. Glass Case of Emotion: Liz
Episode 2. Penn & Teller: Amy
Episode 3. Red Carpet Interview: Craig
Episode 4. Food Photo: Erika
Episode 5. Tour Guide: Taylor
Episode 6. Weding Party: Taylor
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