I can’t say that being a mom these days is any harder or any easier than in the past since I can only go off of my own personal experience. I am not a big believer in modern conveniences being more convenient, since they normally cost a lot of money, which therefore you need to work harder to have them, to seemingly make your life simpler. But I am sure the invention of the washing machine is still a convenience to be grateful since we no longer have to take the laundry down to the river and wash them with rocks.
I have no problem with the term “stay at home mom” besides how silly the term sounds when taken literally. Which my son Noah would take to mean, mommy stays at the house all the time, and is a fixture there like a couch or a dishwasher. Now if you have this type of set up I can understand not liking it, but for the most part, being a SAHM just means you do not have to make an additional income, and you and your husband have joined forces to have a successful life, you are in charge of the life, and he likely gets money to help pay for it, plus takes out the trash and maybe cleans your gutters.
The joining of forces is a beautiful thing, regardless of who is home. Your home is your castle, your touch stone, the place that grounds and rejuvenates you; it is important that it is kept clean and in order so it can fulfill its purposes. Having someone being in charge of the details of life, keep things moving forward. And there are those that thrive in chaos, I am not one of them, but for those that do, gives them a bit more room to work with. Because cleanliness as a necessity for health, only has to go so far, pretty much keeping the house free of vermin is enough unless you are dealing with other anxiety or allergy issues.
But the most important thing to understand whether you earn a paycheck or earn one vicariously, a life is more than what you do for a living, it is all the things that you are.
I am not as fortunate where it isn’t necessary for me to make an additional income; this is mostly because of our son’s Autism and some bad luck when selling our former home. But I beyond that, I know I have choices I can make. I can choose the things I feel I need, I can choose if I want to be indulgent or not, I can choose how often we need to be entertained.
Sometimes though, I do not get any choices, and we cannot be entertained, there is no money for indulgences such as coffee, and I have to continue to wear the same uniform no matter how dingy it looks or how many holes it may have. Most of the time I do not care about all of those things, for we can have fun at home, but everyone needs to get out once and a while.
No matter how poor we are at times, no matter the struggle the one thing I always know and always hold on to, is I know I do all I can. I appreciate my work and the sacrifices I make and I appreciate what my husband, my son, our pets, and those that help us do. I never feel guilty, I never get angry with myself, and I never demean myself in any way for I know who I am. I just sometimes push myself to hard, because I know how capable I am, but I forget that I really do not have super-powers. Most moms are superheroes, we give to our kids before we give to ourselves, we take care of everyone’s needs, we do multiple tasks at once, and it takes a lot before we complain.