Sharon was surprised by Alejandro’s text a few weeks later, when he was back from his trip. He texted, “Daddy’s back guys!” Sharon felt nervous for the first time since she had started chatting to him via e-mail and online. Sharon also felt, mistakenly, that she had to grab Alejandro’s attention by overexaggeration, flirtation, and sexual means. They sexted (which, by definition, means texting sexual texts and messages back and forth, sometimes with pictures), and had phone sex. After this, their conversations always held a distinct edge of sexual tension, with a lot of awkward silences in between.
Even when Sharon was sick, Alejandro would text saying, “Let me come over…I will help you sweat out the sickness, babe ;0).” Sharon would decline, feeling too weak and gross (since she was feverish with flu-like symptoms at the time) to even think of finally meeting Alejandro–let alone in her bedroom, too! When there was a sexy club song that Sharon liked, she would share it with Alejandro. Whenever it came on the radio, he would IM her on yahoo messenger or text her teasingly saying her song was on. Sharon thought he was really interested in her, but felt inadequate more and more frequently.
He wanted her to lead their phone conversations, and did not like the awkward silences. He told her, “I call it like I see it, you know?” She was not really sure exactly what that even meant. He then further explained, saying, “I just dangle the string, you know? I dangle it and let people bury themselves…everyone has a clean slate at first, but people lie and get caught in their lies.” Sharon kind of understood where he was coming from–and she was nervous he’d think she was a phony and fake, too. He opened up that his friend’s dad was in the hospital, otherwise he would have hung out with Sharon already, and that he had been wanting to hang out for a while already.
Two more weeks passed. He suddenly wanted to finally meet up. She was at her gay guy friend Jimmy’s at the time, and rushed home to get ready to meet him for coffee at a mall. She was running late, since he did not give her much warning. Suddenly he called her ten minutes before they were about to meet up, and she was just running out the door. He flaked on her, saying that the hospital hours had changed and that he was going to instead go to the hospital to visit–but that another time they would meet up. Their sexting continued, as well as phone sex, and flirtations. Sharon was falling more and more in way over her head. She was getting sucked into what she thought was an equal attraction and crush. She felt one way, she would soon find out, and he felt another.
Here is a few more tips: If you feel you must resort to flirtations and sexual actions to draw and keep a guys interest (sexting, phone sex, etc), it can be a mistake, too. In some cases, it can be different, it simply depends on the situation and the people. Girl’s associate sexual actions with more of an emotional attachment, whereas guys can take it in a more detached fashion. Therefore, while you feel your pouring your heart out by “opening up” to a guy with a sexy picture and dirty talk, you may just be setting yourself up to be hurt, because the guy may then associate you only with sex–and will only “think” below the belt, and not take you seriously, from then on out. It may not be fair, but it happens a lot.