The estimated number of Americans involved in a sexless marriage is estimated at 40,000,000. For those of you who are shocked at all the zeros, it is not a typo. The estimation is 40 million. Some of us are shaking our heads in awe thinking that’s a crazy high number of people who are not having sex. Others are not shocked at all, because they are part of the statistic and they know firsthand about sexless marriage. Knowing what we know about connecting to our partner during our intimate moments, how do we allow our marriages to become sexless?
1. Antidepressants. The use of antidepressants has continued to climb and is even coming to a peak during our current economic recession. Antidepressant medications including Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Lexapro, Celexa, and Luvox list decreased sex drive as a side effect.
2. Family obligations. We work all day, then we come home and there’s dinner, and homework, maybe a soccer practice or a baseball game. The house needs vacuumed, the dog needs to go out, laundry is piling up…this list seems never-ending. By the time you finish enough to allow you to relax, it’s already 10:30 and all you want to do is get some sleep before you do it all over again. This is an easy pattern to fall into, but some intimate time at the end of the day might just be the cure to relax you.
3. Aging. As women go through menopause and men experience erectile dysfunction, sexual desire can decrease. There are medications and alternative ways to still remain intimate with your partner. One local couple married for 54 years says, “Sex is very important. This doesn’t change with age (in the mind), but ability level may change.” The wife’s response? “Sex and intimacy remain very important and it doesn’t matter how old you are. Also, there are many ways to overcome any loss of ability and still have fun.” If there’s a will, there’s a way.
Keeping your relationship healthy includes all aspects from emotional to intellectual to sexual. There are many key areas in our relationships and we all have different expectations, but this doesn’t change. We need to fulfill each other in several areas and sex seems to have fallen to the wayside in an effort to keep the other areas alive. Try to make an hour a week for each other to talk and have some intimate time together. You might remember what you’re missing and ignite that sexual passion!
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