How have you done this past week at working on your agreed issues? Have you each managed to hold up your end of the changes that needed to take place? Remember it can be quite difficult to work through your problems and that none of these things will be an easy overnight fix. The purpose of this renovation challenge is to give you the tools and motivation to work through the problems that are hurting your relationship and rebuild from the ground up to a strong and healthy marriage.
Now we are going to get a little more intense with our tearing down. Each of you should have a page in your book where your spouse has written what he or she believes are valid obstacles from your notes. These are items that while your spouse may not have seen them as issues and problems in the relationship, when reading your notes he or she was able to concede that they are valid issues that need some attention.
There should also be some notes on this page from your partner as to how they believe each of these can be remedied.
Your challenge this week is for you to sit down as a couple and discuss these items. For example if one of your complaints was that your spouse doesn’t seem to have time for you, and in your notebook your spouse has listed this as a valid complaint you should discuss how the two of you can work together to arrange some couple time. If your spouse complained that you never clean the kitchen after dinner and leave everything until tomorrow and you agree that this is a valid complaint, it is time to figure out how to make it convenient to do after dinner clean up. Whether that means working together to do the chore or eating dinner earlier, it is up to the two of you to figure out a workable and reasonable long term solution.
Again, while challenging this week’s activity is basically adding to the foundation of your skills for working together to achieve stability and strength in your marriage. Last week and this coming week should find you and your spouse working together more often than not to improve certain facets of your marriage. Remember there is no blame, there is no anger, and no hurt feelings you are simply two people who want to spend the rest of your lives together, and are willing to work at it daily to do so.
Spend this week working to apply the decisions and actions that you decide upon, while continuing the practices you began last week.
Keep in mind that while you may have read the other page in your notebook that your spouse wrote on, that subject is off limits for discussion, debate, or anger until next week. Concentrate on the challenges you face each day and not thinking forward or backwards. You’ll meet that part of the challenge soon enough.