Ever envy that woman you know who has the knack for attracting desirable men, and wonder how she does it? She may not even be as attractive as you are, but you can bet she employs the right combination of qualities that attract a mate. Topping the list of those qualities is the topic for today’s article: confidence.
Confidence, confidence, confidence… like the highly touted three most important qualities in real estate property said to be location, location, location, confidence is the number one quality that turns heads and makes people sit up and take notice. Confidence gives the impression that no matter how tough the going gets, the confident person can take it in stride. Confidence implies a sense of strength, a base characteristic in a mate to which humans have been attracted since the beginning of time. A confident nature has a reflective quality that makes others feel at ease.
Don’t confuse confidence with arrogance or cockiness. A few may find this overabundance of a good thing attractive, but for most – including the very people you may be trying to attract – it’s a turnoff. Confidence must be combined with a healthy dose of humility to avoid coming off as cocky. You needn’t act superhuman or superior to others, simply self-assured. Combining confidence with genuine empathy for others and basic politeness will help you set the right tone.
Obviously, the easiest way to exhibit confidence is to be confident. Confidence stems from ample self-esteem, a basic sense of self-like and the feeling that you have the ability to handle pretty much whatever life deals you. It can be something instilled in you by your upbringing, or a characteristic you work to develop as you age. But it starts with a basic acceptance of yourself and what you as an individual bring to the table in whatever form that takes, whether it involves special skills, learning, athletic prowess, financial success, appearance, or some combination of assets. Everyone can find something they offer as a foundation on which to build confidence.
Even if you don’t feel confident, you can start by literally acting the part. Nonverbal communication skills such as a quiet smile, erect body carriage, looking people in the eye without flinching, and squelching unnecessary body movements such as nail biting, foot tapping, leg jiggling, and overuse of hand gestures all go a long way toward conveying your more confident self. Verbal communication improvements include active listening and becoming more discerning about when to speak and when to remain silent. Practicing these skills in your daily life will make them a part of you, and before long you will look the part even if you aren’t quite to the point of feeling it!
Tune in to the next article for more on the qualities that attract a mate.