It’s an all too familiar scene: silent treatment, distraught visages, tension thicker than molasses. When you fight with your mate the last thing you want to do is make up. But the number one rule of living together is never go to bed mad.
Why? Well, for one you need your peaceful night’s rest in order to have a healthy and productive day the next morning. Also, for reasons you may not think of right away. As adults we are set in our ways, and change does not come easy. The longer we remain mad the more we seem to resent the individual who infuriated us. And once resentment is instilled, there is little room for forgiveness. Hence the reason for making amends hastily.
The best way to solve disputes is communicating with one another. Communication is key because it opens up the unknown. There are unknown emotions, unknown moods, and unknown reactions.
Unknown feelings are those you feel for each other that neither know about openly. These are hidden deep in the heart. “I love you and I am afraid of losing you” or “You make me so angry when you are pessimistic about my goals” are valid feelings that are hidden but should be disclosed when settling a dispute. Bottling strong emotions isn’t healthy for anyone, nor any relationship.
Unknown moods are easier to disclose. Our moods typically reside upon our faces. Whether we are bored, tired, or annoyed we have a way of showing it. But not everyone pick up on others’ moods. Chewing off your partners head because he forgot to take out the trash seems outrageous, but if you have been bored at home all day, then you may find arguing quite exciting. Exploring the culprit behind explosive moments can truly save a relationship as long as couples are able to communicate well.
And for every action is a reaction. For instance, you blow up about the trash. Your partner has had a terrible day at work and is feeling emotionally and physically drained. Your argument about trash escalates into bills, then the toilet seat, and ends with name-calling. Your mate reacts defensively and tries to even the field with an argument where you are in the hot seat. This reaction is typical when individuals feel attacked, and usually is not a truly reflected in the words said. Truth be told, no one likes to feel attacked. In order to avoid this scenario, communicate emotions and moods before the disputes take a nose-dive to name-calling.
The key element to dissolving issues in any relationship is communication. Work at mending loose ends quickly and effectively. Embrace the problem immediately and focus the negative energy into creating a positive outcome.
Many peace treaties amongst nations have been resolved over diplomatic words. Having an understanding of each other and showing respect created diplomacy for warring nations. It is possible communication can restore peace in your own home.