VIENNA AND I DON’T MEAN THE ONE IN VIRGINIA–Bob Arum is like a washing machine salesman.
Or, better yet, like the crotchety Maytag repairman of TV commercial fame.
The nearly age 79 promoter remains in his ridiculous Manny Pacquiao stance, trying to convince the media and the public that an honest, and I hesitate to use that word concerning boxing, good faith effort was made to turn a Floyd Mayweather-Pacman super bout into a Nov. 13 reality.
Fact is, from all the evidence I have seen and heard, the huge effort from the Pacman side was a few demands which were delivered to middeman and HBO boxing bossman Ross Greenburg for his relay to Mayweather shotcaller Al Haymon.
Nothing more to it, nada, zippo, zilch.
For this Arum wants either a medal or a chest to pin it on?
I mean, there was no sitdown session with Pacquiao reps on one side of the table and Mayweather minions on the other.
Like Bob Arum, the Maytag man knows how to spin, how to dry and how fluff and fold
Not in person was there any and there was not even a conference call involving the key parties.
If this is a serious effort to make the bout the boxing WAS itching to see, then my name is Sigmund Freud.
Speaking of whom, well, I am so glad you asked. I am meeting an important somebody in this glorious city tonight and we are rendezvousing in front of the father of modern psychiatry’s museum.
See LA Times grizzled veteran Bill Dwyre on how Arum spins, dries, fluffs and folds.
No word so far on how many WA Mozart impersonators will be there but the city never runs short of them.
I spotted at least five totally wigged out Wolfgang Amadeus lookalikes only yesterday. But as our Dallas and never dullest Boxing Examiner Matt Stolow might say, I digress from the pathetic subject at hand.
Meanwhile, while Arum continues to spin,. to fluff, to fold and to dry his nonsensical explanation, hoops crazy Mayweather was down in Miami on Sunday and told an Associated Press scribe that ‘I`m not rushing to do anything.”
Gee whillikers, Uncle Bob, that doesn`t sound very much like a fighter who has been seriously contemplating an offer from which he can garner a record $40 million purse, does it?
A few phone calls to man in the middle Greenburg, that is the bottom line.
Arum doesn´t contend that he ever offered to go to Los Angeles, a 45 minute flight from his lair in Las Vegas, to talk turkey with Haymon.
Nor does Roberto say or even imply he invited Down Low Al, who shuns the limelight like a loathsome disease, to Vegas for a business breakfast, lunch or dinner.
For their own selfish reasons, neither side cared a fig about the best interests of the sport business which has made them all so filthy rich.
Mayweather, having fought in May and earned perhaps $12 million or thereabouts, is in vacation mode and is content to not fight for the remainder of 2010.
For his part, Arum is more than happy to milk his somewhat depleted stable of Pacman foes, chiefly now the disgraced Antonio Margarito and the already thrashed by Megamanny Miguel Cotto.
Manny against Margocheato? A needless repeat of Manny against the Bombed Out Boricua?
Fight fans demand steak and lobster., the surf and turf spectacular of Undefeated Money May and Mr. Ring Excitement, Pacman, and this is the chopped liver Arum brings us?
A pox, a plague, on all their houses.
Mayweather and Pacquiao still does boffo business in 2011, no doubt, but it won´t happen even then unless both sides are motivated.
And what if Pacman is hurt, or cut or less than awesome fighting the Mexican or the Puerto Rican?
Then it will really be spin, dry, fluff and fold time, won’t it?
Next stop, Paris.
I will let you guys know what Jim Morrison has to tell me from his gravesite in that marvelous city.
They had a chance to light our fistic fires and they dropped the ball.
How do you say fumble in German, anyway?
Negotiations, offers, counteroffers, adjustments, these normal stages of making a contract did not get very far in the second bungled attempt to get Floyd and Manny into the ring.
Will the third time be a charm?
I am sorry but my milk of optimism has turned completely sour.
Over to you, Siggy.
I know, I know because I am stroking my chin also.
Mit gluck with those washing machines and dryers, Arum.
Next time, don´t be so proactive. so aggressive and maybe we could actually get to the Big Bout.
This one was merely another lapdance.
Should I say that really?
They tell me a good lapdance usually involves some real contact.