Finding the strength and ability to let go of an abusive spouse or mate can be harder than some people would like to believe. Some think that letting go is as easy as packing up and walking away. I later realized that the people talking had never been in an abusive relationship. They had never experienced being isolated from their family, nor had they ever known what it was like to receive physical pain from someone that was supposed to love and protect them. Physical abuse is dangerous and abuse from a mate or spouse can be deadly.
The reason is someone you’ve known for less then a month may not have as strong a hold emotionally over you as someone you’ve been with for the past five years. In this timeframe, your love is so deep that you can’t see yourself without this person and you believe them each time they tell you they love you. Your self esteem has been destroyed so badly that you don’t think there’s anything better then where you are. And finally, fear has been built up so strong that you lie about your injuries and defend your spouse or mate when others accuse them of wrongdoing. You’ve been abused physically and mentally to the point that you take the blame for what happens to them. If they’ve had a bad day, it’s your fault. If the boss had to correct them or write them up, it’s your fault. They are so twisted that they will have you begging them to stay when they threaten to leave.
Understand something, you don’t have to listen to them as they try and convince you for the fifth time in three weeks that they are going to get help; that the relationship can be the way it was in the beginning. If they haven’t gotten help by now then chances are they won’t. The ones that suffer the most from this lifestyle are the children. Being a witness to abuse in the home can be mentally damaging and sometimes birth other issues in the life of a developing child. We must make the change to keep our daughters from believing this is their future and our sons’ from believing this behavior is acceptable. There are shelters available for abused women and children that will help you get out, go through your healing process and learn to live again free from fear.
You are worth it and deserving of a fresh start, a new life at being happy.