It can be said a thousand different ways but loving someone you cannot have is very painful. There are some people who have decided to deal with unrequited love in a different (and an age old) way.
Recently, I was in a club in Ft. Worth. Sitting next to me was a woman. She was staring at her drink contemplatively. I said hello. She said hello back. She seemed in the mood to chat so I asked her what was on her mind. She began with a sheepish smile saying that she had dated this man a few years ago. She stopped at this point.
Obviously, there was more on her mind so I said, “Yes, please go on.”
She continued. They had broken up because he told her emphatically that he did not want to be married again and she had wanted marriage. After a few years had passed she ran into him again. One thing led to another and they had ended up in bed. He told her that he still loved her. She went on to say that they went out several times after that. She had thought she was over him but her feelings were as intense as they had ever been.
You can probably guess what she said next. He had gotten married. He tells her that he had made a terrible mistake and should never have married the other woman. My friend said that, after a few years and several failed relationships, her life did not seem to be going anywhere.
I asked her what she intended to do.
She again smiled ruefully and confessed that they have decided to see one another quietly. Her hope was that he would see how good their relationship was and leave his wife and be with her. It seems that he does not want to divorce his wife.
I teasingly, I asked her if calling Cheaters anonymously might be one way to inform his wife (silly I know but I had had a drink.) She laughed and said she had not thought of that.
She did not ask me what I thought and I did not comment on her lifestyle choice. She seemed to be uncomfortable enough without my input. I thought about her situation and I wondered how many people were doing exactly what she was. My feeling was that she was trading off time she would never get back with a man who in all likelihood would not ever be with her.
Maybe this might be a working relationship with a few tweaks, but was this a good trade off, though? I left a little after that. She and I sill chat and we still have a drink once in a while. I do not pass judgment. I have not met the guy in her life. She says that most days this lifestyle is acceptable to her.
Whether acceptable or not this is one way to handle unrequited love.