At my gym there are benches right in front of the lockers for guys to sit their gym bags and clothes. They’re also there, I suppose, to sit down on for a moment from a hard workout. But some guys just want to ruin this for everyone. All too many times I’ll see a guy who is completely naked go sit down on these benches, or in some cases even lie down. And sometimes they do this right after getting out of the sauna, with sweat dripping all over the place. These benches are community benches, meaning everyone uses them. I can’t imagine the nerve of these guys.
At my gym there is one guy who I always see doing this. Not only is he morbidly obese, but he’s one of the guys who has eagle’s talons for toenails and likes to clip his nails in the sauna. He’s a repeat etiquette offender. I don’t want to sit where that guy has been. I don’t even want to put my clothes or gym bag there now. I don’t know how often they spray those benches with disinfectant or if they even do that at all, but it’s just one of those things I know that happens but try not to think about. It’s too bad there are no laws preventing him from committing these atrocities. But he just lies there naked on the bench, unknowingly contaminating the place. It just goes to show you; there is no shortage of people out there with no sense.
One of the funniest violations of gym etiquette occurs with guys who are drying off after getting out of the shower. At my gym the place to towel off is located just in front of the sauna, so if you are in the sauna, you see everyone coming out of the shower. Many times I’m in the sauna and there will be a guy drying off, and for some reason, when it comes to drying between his legs, he spends a lot of extra time making sure that region is extra dry. I know this seems gross, but it’s completely true. It’s a phenomenon if you ask me. I’ve seen guys, usually older men, just going back and forth with the towel as if they were about to compete in the “World’s Driest Balls” competition. Sometimes they’re just in a daze, just flossing back and forth, back and forth. It’s not like I sit there and watch purposefully, but I’m in the sauna which is right there. And I look away, then look back, and they’re still flossing their ass. I just hope they throw that towel in the washer when they leave the gym.
One of the funniest methods of drying off that I have ever seen, and a big gym etiquette no-no, is this guy at my gym who actually takes the community hair dryer that is connected to the wall like at hotels, and he dries his balls with it. I’m not lying folks. He puts his leg up in the air, and puts the hair dryer under his testicles and gives them a good drying. You can’t make this stuff up. And he is totally oblivious as to how ridiculous and sad this is. Like I said, it’s hilarious to watch, but if it’s your first time witnessing this, prepare to be initially shocked and embarrassed before laughter ensues.
I think maybe if we followed some rules like in the days of the Roman bathhouses, except the orgy part, that the locker room would be a more pleasant place to go after a workout. We should practice cleanliness, decency, consideration, and a sense of community.