I on Miami, a different perspective of beach life and the things we see every day
Lincoln Road – Musings, Morning rituals & the people that make Lincoln Road look so good before the beach wakes up!
Miami Beach, early morning, my favorite time to stroll the expansive catwalk known as Lincoln Road, just me and my Boston Terrier, Ginseng wallowing in the quiet, taking in the sights and enjoying all the little nuances so easily missed when Miami’s reigning queen is over-run by her many fans and admirers.
And as anyone familiar with Lincoln Road at dawn, whether early riser greeting the start of a new day or night owl stumbling in from the night before can attest… one can’t help but notice that part of the morning when the somewhat eerie, but blissfully silent promenade is abruptly over-taken by the boisterous chatter of clean-up crews and the deafening roar of gasoline powered equipment, as Lincoln Road is awakened from her nights slumber.
I’ve come to look upon this daily ritual of trash removal, power-washing, leaf blowing and the like more like the fussy doings one might see at an exclusive spa. I imagine the “clean-up crews” as studied “spa attendants”, the overly animated type common to that caliber spa, each possessing the talent and knowhow of a particular specialty or niche.
Each morning Ginseng and I watch this seen unfold, as we walk the catwalk from bay to beach and back again, encountering a different attendant at each new block along our way. We watch as they scurry about, some snobby, some animated and some angry, but all entertaining. And every time I come across this daily spectacle, I find myself wondering the same thing… What do these hand-picked crews think about while they mindfully indulge and pamper the every whim of Miami’s most glamorous senior resident? So one day I decided to ask….
Enter Lincoln Road Clean-up Crew-“Spa Attendant”, Erwin Vargas
After spending a few minutes reassuring Mr. Vargas that… 1) L3Miami (LiveLoveLust Miami webazine)was not a tell all tabloid in search of dirt (no pun intended) and 2) nor was it a porn site… and with that out of the way, the informal gab fest was on, and Mr Vargas, conscientious as he is, insisted we talk as he tended to his assigned spa duties.
A member of the elite Lincoln Road “Spa Crew” for 6 months, Mr. Vargas, 26, was recruited from his home country of Nicaragua, but has lived in Miami for over 10 years. Expertly trained in a variety of theraputic and holistic techniques, he is soley responsible for the care of his famous client’s most important feature, her face, better know to fans as, 1111 Lincoln Road, a big responsibility requiring his constant attention, due in part to the recent face lift perfomed by the famous duo, Herzog & de Meuron
AM: So, Erwin, tell me what you love about your job?
EV: Spenindg the morning on Lincoln Road & just being outside
AM: Biggest job perk?
EV: Pay is okay, I get to see different people everyday… Oh, and finding money!
AM: Big money?
EV: $5.00’s and $10.00’s mostly
AM: What’s the most shocking thing you’ve seen while working
EV: Human poop floating in the fish pond & a used condom in the middle of the sidewalk
AM: How do you know it was human poop?
EV: Because, you can just tell
AM: Do you think the condom could have belonged to a friend of your client’s?
EV: Hmmm, I don’t understand?
AM: Are the weekends the worst, the biggest clean up days?
EV: Oh yes! Trash everywhere, I don’t know why… with trash cans everywhere
AM: What is your favorite Lincoln Road activity… when you’re not working of course.
EV: Just walking around… hanging out, but I like my section best
AM: I think I know the answer to this, but, if you could say one thing to people who visit Lincoln Road, what would it be?
EV: Stop being lazy, if you have trash to throw away walk over a few feet and use the garbage can
AM: Here, here! I agree. I see pizza boxes, half eaten pizza slices, McDonalds bags and wrappers all over the ground… usually a few feet, sometimes inches from an empty garbage can.
AM: Ok, so here’s the big question, what do you think about all day while you’re working?
EV: Most of the time, I think why do people throw garbage everywhere accept the garbage cans. I mean, there are six on my block alone!
Mr. Vargas’ Spa Specialties:
He said: Pressure clean walk-ways
I heard: a deliciously soothing exfoliating treatment
He said: empty trash cans
I heard: a gentle detoxifying colon cleanse
He said: maintain plants & water feature
I heard: a nutrient dense scalp massage, shampoo/conditioner infused with botanical extracts, promoting strong, healthy, touchable hair!
He said: feed fish
I heard: prepare heart healthy lunch, delicious meets nutritious!