So many marriages are in trouble now a days and couples just don’t know what to do about it; many times they will stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the kids. One spouse may have tried to do just about everything and has just given up and instead of leaving the marriage has decided to lead a life of misery. What can a couple do to get their marriage back on track?
Here is a comment from one of my one of my readers on an article I titled
Reasons Why a Husband Would Not Want To
Have Sex with His Wife
What about men being angry? It is well known that wives usually will not want sex when they are angry with their husbands. I’m willing to bet most women think anger does not affect men’s sex drive. After all he is a man and wants it all the time no matter what, right? Well, not exactly ladies. After too many, maybe even years, of constant rejection and excuses we get angry. If it goes on and on we can actually give up. This happened to me. After 12 years of marriage I have given up sex. After 12 years of futility trying to communicate to my wife how important it is. I now turn it down and do not initiate at all. My wife is totally perplexed. But since she is ok with little or no sex, it really doesn’t matter to her. Heaven help me if I were to stop being caring and affectionate to her, right? Always the double standard. Men can live without sex. Well can a woman can also live without affection? I believe so. I always thought marriage was about taking care of each other’s needs? Guess not. For me anyway, it is sort of a relief, the battle is over. Is my sex drive gone? Not by a long shot! Do I want sex? Oh definitely, just not with her anymore! It is a chore to me now. She always acted like she wanted me to get it over with quickly anyway. And no, I don’t think I’m terrible in bed! The women before I was married had no issues! I have stayed faithful since I met her and will remain faithful as long as our marriage will last. Which may not be much longer? When the sex drops out, usually all other forms of intimacy go with it. We are definitely roommates. Just here to raise our children now. Which is ok, they have been her world for 11 years. You could say perpetual mommy-mode! Well, now they are all I have left. It’s really a shame when a marriage is not made a priority at all.
These are a few steps that can be taken when you are in an unhappy marriage
First step: Be honest with yourself and your spouse
Shake up the other person and let them know how you feel, tell them that you are thinking of leaving the marriage if they do not go to counseling with you or are willing to work on the marriage.
In some marriages the couple may need to go through a separation period to understand what it is like not to have the family together before opting for a full divorce. A separation can give the coupe time to work on the marriage.
Stay in the marriage but learn to live your own life: Take up hobbies, travel, create more passion n your life through things that you enjoy. Stop being upset over the situation and find a way to live your life for you and still remain in the home and a parent to your children.
Go see a counselor on your own: many times when one spouse is unhappy in the marriage and the other spouse just does not care to improve the situation; it is import for that spouse to seek counseling on their own. Seeing a counselor can help find ways in which to better cope with your marriage situation, or come up with a plan to eventually y leave.
The last option when all other options have failed:
Go to family counselor and discuss the need for the family to divorce and work together as a family to make the adjustment as easy as possible. Life is short and if you are in a miserable marriage and have children, either stop fooling yourself or get some help so you can cope or leave the marriage and remain friends with your spouse. The point being is that if your children see you unhappy everyday this is not good for them either.
This is an article on children in a marriage where the parents are miserable:
For more information and help with your marriage visit: www.thehappyspouse.com
This is a free website for help with marriages, sexual issues, counseling, tips and advice.