Next weekend, Christopher Nolan unleashes his latest film on a public starved for a great moviegoing experience. There’s no way Nolan could’ve known it, but he’s giving us Inception smack-dab in the middle of one of the most creatively bankrupt Summers that Hollywood’s ever had. Audiences are ready for a tough, challenging, thought-provoking movie, mainly to off-set the damage done by seeing the trailers for Marmaduke. Very little is known about Inception at the moment, but as more and more (glowing) reviews for the film pop up online, a picture is starting to form about the film’s plotline. With that in mind, we’ve put together a list of the top five twist endings that Inception should end with– but probably won’t. If you’re trying to avoid any foreknowledge of Nolan’s new film, you might wanna avoid the article below until after you’ve seen the movie: minor spoilers to follow below, my gentle Examiner readers…
Is there another film being released this year that’s as eagerly anticipated as Chris Nolan’s Inception? This is the latest film from the director who brought us The Dark Knight, Memento, and The Prestige— all of which are amazing films– so there’s every reason to be excited, and the reviews that have started arriving indicate that Inception will be worth the very long wait we’ve all endured. The film’s been shrouded in secrecy, but after putting together a few clues from the trailer, TV spots, and reviews that are circulating, we’ve come up with a list of the top five twist endings we’d like to see in Inception. And here…we…go:
5. INCEPTION TURNS OUT TO BE THE FOURTH MATRIX: You’ve all seen the trailers and the sequence where Joseph Gordon-Levitt has a zero-gravity fistfight with some dude in a suit up and down a generic-looking hotel hallway, and we’ve all had the same thought: “Hey, that reminds me of The Matrix!” Turns out, we were right all along: Inception is actually the fourth Matrix movie, and “Chris Nolan” is just the fake name that the Wachowski Brothers Brother and Former Brother chose to shoot the thing under. In the final scene, Leo DiCaprio will peel off his face, Mission: Impossible-style, turn to the camera, and reveal himself to be Keanu Reeves. Theaters everywhere will be burned to the ground.
4. THE WHOLE THING TAKES PLACE INSIDE A MENTALLY IMPAIRED KID’S SNOWGLOBE: We all sort of suspected this when we first saw the curving-straight-up-into-the-sky streets in the Inception trailer, so it doesn’t completely shock anyone when the final scene wraps up by pulling back over DiCaprio’s shoulder, out a window, up through the air, and through the side of a snowglobe being cradled by a small, mentally-impaired child. The soundtrack makes that BRRRRRRMMMMMM sound we’ve heard in the trailers, the kid smashes the snowglobe, cut to credits. Mind-blowing.
3. IT TURNS OUT THAT INCEPTION‘S NOT JUST ALL IN A CHARACTER’S HEAD, BUT THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY NOT EVEN IN A MOVIE THEATER: This one’s going to be tricky for Nolan to pull off, but I’m sure the guy who gave us The Dark Knight could handle it. In this scenario, we first learn that the entire movie has been taking place inside the head of a character we meet before the opening credits. Just as that twist is hitting us, Nolan hits us with his twist-within-a-twist: you’re actually still sitting at home, on the couch, in your boxers, and it’s March 2009. Everything– the trailers, the reviews, the commercials– has all been in your head. To pull this off, Warner Bros. has been spiking your tap water for well over a year. Impressive.
2. INCEPTION TURNS OUT TO BE A LAVISH, BUSBY BERKELY-STYLE MUSICAL DONE ENTIRELY WITH POLKA MUSIC: This one’s not so much a twist ending as a twist beginning: once the film’s trailers have suckered $150 million worth of people into theaters next Friday, it’s a matter of moments before we realize that Nolan’s actually made the biggest polka-based musical of all time, complete with singing-and-dancing accordion players and guys in suspenders doing cartwheels (for the kids). No one likes musicals, much less polka musicals, but that’s all it is for two and a half hours. All the positive reviews released for the movie so far? The critics are in on it, complicit in this act of polka-based terrorism. In the film’s final scene, Weird Al Yankovic bounds onscreen and gives the whole thing his stamp of approval.
1. THE “M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN” ENDING(S): In this scenario, Chris Nolan– who we ultimately learn is the biggest Last Airbender geek that’s ever walked the Earth– decides that he’s had just about enough of M. Night Shyamalan and punks him out on a massive scale by combining every twist ending Shyamalan’s ever written into one scene. In other words, Leo DiCaprio is dead through the entire film, which takes place in a city that’s actually just sitting in the middle of a large national park. After someone thoughtlessly dumps a glass of tap water on him, DiCaprio comes back to life and learns that all his bones are broken. Then Mark Wahlberg wanders on-screen and tells everyone that air is trying to kill them, which sets up Inception 2 quite nicely. Despite all this, it’s still awesome, because Chris Nolan directed it. M. Night Shyamalan throws himself off the nearest bridge. The world goes, “Huh, that was weird”.
While none of these are likely to turn out to be the way that Inception really ends, we won’t know for sure until the film arrives in theaters next Friday. The reviews that RottenTomatoes.com has logged so far are positively glowing– the film’s at 100%, but then, it only has 6 reviews available. Chances are, Armond White will be along shortly to pee all over that little parade, but I suspect that the other 99% of critics are going to be correct about this one. Oh, and if you go looking through the reviews, beware of spoilers: critics are dropping ’em all over the place like they’re being paid for it, so watch out.
Well, that about does it for now, folks. Stay tuned for more shenanigans from the Comedy Examiner’s Office in the near future, including funny videos, news, reviews, interviews, recaps, prequels, waffles, and more. Hit the “Subscribe” button up top to get all future Comedy Examiner articles delivered straight to your inbox (free of charge, of course), and if the article above wasn’t enough for you, check out some of these other recent Comedy Examiner articles:
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