Are You Making a List and Checking it Twice?
A recent Oprah.com e-missive promoted the idea of making a list of all the important qualities you are looking for in a soul mate, partner, and lover. Explicit directions for list-making, rituals, readings and were included.
Bon Vivant and San Mateo single,Gary W has always been ahead of the game. Organized and focused he has never been “list-less.” Years ago, he created a list of all the qualities his girlfriend-for-life-must have.
He created a list that looked like a grocery list…
Loaf of bread.
Petite 5’2 – 5’6
Long red hair.
(and then he segued into his “MUST HAVE” List)
* Must have a healthy and fit body which delights
* You must maintain loving relations with long term and close friends, and with your family.
* You must love children, you meet the challenges with aplomb, intelligence, humor, wisdom…
* You must be happy person, content with your own self.
* To Keep up with me You must have an active and fertile mind, a by now you must have resolved the key issues of your character and life.
* Financially secure
* Well read
* Well spoken
* Self Aware
* Prefer one who reads New Yorker and NYtimes and has a
* Predilection for high heels and miniskirts
This was followed by his swirl of clichés about little black dresses and glasses half -filled with something.
A consistent bachelor, with is his ‘Dream Girl List’ in hand, asked me to weigh in on his list. And, I had a distinct deja vu moment…
Earlier, I had been at a friend’s home and her eight-year-old daughter was ordering her first American Girl Doll. I quickly learned that this was an important rite of passage for little girls. Eight-year-olds all over America swoon over the American Girl Doll. The marketing magic behind this creation is nothing short of brilliant.
The Magic- the money – the mentality
For a mere $100.00 a little girl is able to create the exact doll she dreams of – she can select the exact hair color, the eye color, and the complexion – to match her own skin tone and nationality. The real piece d’ resistance- for an additional fee- there are the myriad choices of very cute, must have clothes. Voila! Instant gratification: the doll of your dreams.
Looking for a Barbie Doll
That afternoon,Gary W, wanted to discuss his dating successes and strategies. He urged me to review his ‘Dream Girl list’. Ironically, he too, was looking for an American doll.
As a rule, he dated two women, concurrently. Never daunted by remembering names of the parade of women, he called everyone “darling,” sweetheart,” and “babe.”
When he grew tired of the petite, skiing, tennis player, red head, doll – Gary W would probably aspire to the leggy blonde with a propensity for Shakespeare, massage, Mensa, Latin, and Kafka. Given his spotty track record- the long list of must-haves and no compromise, chances are Gary W will be at the “table for one” category for a very long time.
If you have made a long list of ‘Must Haves’ – consider shredding it and shooting from the heart and an keeping open mind. Yes, Prince Charming is taken. Get in the game and know the best is yet to come.
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