By Taylor Lynne Trentwood
Deathbed reconciliations are filled with both drama and with love. They are an extraordinary part of one of the greatest dramas in life. They bind up a formerly tattered tie of love
Social scientists inform that our relationships have a far greater impact on our health than formerly realized. Tremendous psychological effects occur when we cut off ties with loved ones.
It is not something done lightly. Major problems that effect both mind and body are precipitated by rejecting the people you love. The stress eventually affects physical health.
Mother /daughter reconciliation is the only good news that we have had from Zsa Zsa Gabor’s fall and subsequent hip surgery.
Francesca Hilton and her mother have reconciled. Mother/daughter reconciliations are never easy, even in the best of times. When the Mother has had nine marriages to some very difficult people, even the best of daughters tend to wear down.
Francesca is the one and only child of Ms. Gabor and so she holds a unique and special place.
It is gratifying to everyone that Francesca is there to provide comfort and care in these very dark hours. There is no way to realize what her presence must mean to her mother but it must be the very greatest of comforts.
There is a lesson here for all of us. When we delay reconciliation until the moment of a major crisis, tragedy or surgery, it is beautiful but also relatively unsatisfying. It is bittersweet as compared to what it might have been. Years of shared joy and mutual support have been lost in the winds.
It is always the height of wisdom to forgive and forget. It is wise to do so as soon as the dust has settled from the most frequent “dust up.”
A reunion at a hospital bedside is never as satisfying and joyful as one made over celebratory lunch or at a party.
You cannot choose the setting if you wait too long.
Reconciliations come in many forms; they are needed with friends, lovers, neighbors, and sibling and collegial relationships. Mothers and daughters, however, in particular would do well to take a note out of the book of mental health. Contact with former friends and family, now estranged, and is encouraged strongly as an essential aid to emotional well being.
It is best done before it must happen in the ICU. A tie that binds is a soul-reaching union. It can disable both when the tie is cut in many unsuspected ways.
Therefore, it is a very good thing that Francesca is there. She is with her mother as the priest is called and that is a truly sobering and momentous event for the both of them.
However, for mother and daughter both, it is too little and too late. Let us not let that happen to us.
To honor our fabulous Zsa Zsa and all the delightful entertainment that she gave to us, we can commit to forgive and forget. We can do so before it is so very late in the day as to leave only the sunset hours to enjoy together. It will benefit us more than we can possibly realize.