Success in school is predicated upon one very important determination, and that is attitude. The word attitude takes on a gigantic meaning because each day we interact with many different people. We begin at home with the interaction with our families, then as we travel to our destination, we interact with fellow travelers, and then with teachers, students, administrators, sellers, consumers, and the list goes on.
Each day is a complex variety of interactions, where we can come into contact with many different kinds of people. Some of those people are in our authority, and some of those people have authority over us. Then there are the far and few between, who are peers, and who we interact with on a level playing field. They care for us, and we care for them, and we support them without any expectation, and they support us without any expectation in return. These friends are people that we want to keep as a miser wishes to keep their gold. As a fair weather friend is like silver, a true friend is like gold. The value is great, and you feel pain if you loose it.
As we go into the “back to school” mode with excitement high, and hoping for success in our endeavors, isn’t it a good idea to think carefully about how we can keep those friends that we support and who support us on many different levels? Today, where students come from homes with many structures such as two parents at home, single parent, blended families, tutors can advise across the board that success in school is just a good attitude away.
Some kids have two homes, and maybe more if you count grandparents that spend time with them, and open their homes to them. Every religion, no matter if it is — Judeo-Christian, Muslim, or an Asian religion, such as Buddhism or Hinduism, will say that honoring your parents is a major commandment or strong advise in the religion.
In Islam, we say that according to the sayings of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings, be upon him, in the sunnah when he speaks of parents, he says that a mother deserves three times more regard than the father. That does not mean to slight the father in any sense, but it means that your mother deserves even more regard and honor than your father because of all that she went through to give birth to you and raise you from infancy.
Another hadith, or saying from the Prophet, is that you should never curse anyone, not even an animal. A curse is to say something to someone that would harm them. One popular curse that you hear people utter when they are very angry is to damn someone. “Go to the hot and eternal place,” is one phrase you can hear people say to their enemies, and unfortunately, all too often some will utter these cursing phrases to family and friends as well.
Prophet Muhammad said to one of the women of the times, when she cursed a camel she was riding on, “You must now let the animal go because it is cursed.” So she did as the prophet advised, and the camel wandered around and no one would have anything to do with the accursed beast.
Imagine if you curse your family, or your so-called friend, and I say so-called because how could you call a person your friend, and then turn around and curse them? But this kind of thing happens everyday, and if you really take into account how many times you will see and hear it; it will amaze you that more people, not camels, are walking around without any friends, in utter isolation because of one small slip of the tongue in anger.
Maybe these kinds of words are the reason that so many people are going to their doctor in a depression and needing to take the myriad of pharmaceuticals on the market for feeling sad. If the prophet said let the camel go, then how much more you must let the person whom you curse go.
To wrap up the topic and discussion, stop yourself before you blurt out the cursing words to most especially those you love, like your family and friends, and even to those that you just come into contact with each day on a superficial level.
Maybe you cannot see the wounds those words inflict as you would see someone in bandages from going to the emergency room, but perhaps the wounds are as grave, and lasting as any other physical wound inflicted upon a person. And you know you can curse a person without using any words. Just look at them like you want to kill them or wish they were dead. A look of hatred with cold and stone-like eyes can wound and curse a person as much as any words can do, so don’t be so quick to belittle, mock, or make fun of at the expense of your victim, and think that it’s just a little joke.
When you are trying to get an education or make a living in the workplace, interactions with people make or break your success. After all, how can you form a team and work in collaboration, if you go around cursing every person that gets in your way? The answer is you can’t.
I know of one girl who told her mother, “Nobody likes you, I am the only person who will talk to you.” I wonder if the Prophet would tell this girl to let her mother go, because she is cursed? A mother is not a camel, but how much more of a person is a mother, than a camel.
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