No matter where you look online, it’s hard to avoid news stories about another Android phone being released or the media’s love affair with the iPhone. With all the attention these phones are receiving, it seems no one has stopped to consider all the advantages of owning this phone if you sit in an office all day.
After a month of passionate intercourse with my new HTC Evo Android phone (redefining phone sex), I’ve discovered there are three legitimate benefits to every corporate employee having one of these phones at their disposal while at the office. Though the title suggests you should also think about buying an iPhone, this article will only focus on buying an Android. This is for no other reason than the fact that Android is better than iPhone, and iPhone owners are intellectually inferior. No offense iPhone Examiner.
Here are the 5 reasons to have an Android phone at the office:
1. Bathroom entertainment
There is nothing more satisfying than filling up the ever-so-boring stretch of time spent sitting on the toilet at work. Whether you typically spend 30 seconds or 30 minutes when taking a dump, it really doesn’t matter. Most people fall into one of four types of bathroom phone users:
Listening to music while you take a dump can be very gratifying. However, it is rather disturbing to be doin your business when the song “Put your hands where my eyes can see” by Busta Rhymes comes on.
Can you imagine yourself 20 years ago believing that in just two decades you’d be able to have the world’s information at your fingertips while holding toilet paper in your palm? Welcome to 2010, the stuff dreams are made of.
Sharts & Hearts
Gaming on your phone is an excellent way to pass the time while on the can at work. A close friend of Life in the Cubicle no longer uses any other term but “Playing Solitaire” when informing others of his plans to unload waste. Receiving a text from said friend that says nothing but “playing solitaire right now” is not uncommon.
Turtle knocks, selling stocks
Every office has someone who takes phone calls while taking a growler. Though this can be done from any phone, it just needed to be included. Any person who takes important phone calls while taking care of business deserves a firm hand shake…after washing their hands.
2. Streaming music or listening to your own music while at your desk
If you’re like me and you work for an employer who closely resembles the devil, it’s very likely they block you from doing anything that would be considered unproductive (except reading this). Having an Android allows you to play your own music or stream from the wifis.
3. Snap hidden photos of idiots in your office
You don’t realize it until you have the ability to take great photos from your phone, but there are at least 15 situations per day in which you could snap fantastic photos of employees at your office. Whether it’s a camel toe situation, a moose knuckle incident, or simply a coworker wearing Work 2 Weekend Haggar slacks, the great photo opps at work are endless. You don’t realize it now, but adding this ability to your work day will greatly improve your morale.
There are many other reasons you should get an Android phone. However, 8 billion other authors and bloggers already provided those for you, like this one.
Life in The Cubicle by Dudley B. Dawson
Read more Life in the Cubicle: Most Read Stories | Top 25 articles | Entire Catalog
Follow: RSS | Subscribe to Emails | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn | ProcrastiNation |